Saturday, February 5, 2022

Waking Up Worried

The feeling I had this morning:

The hangover of a jumbled dream 
in which I felt bumps on the backs of my thighs--
A malignant keratosis--
Dissolution of the treasures given in this particular incarnation. 
Ultimate poverty.

That's what was on my mind burrowing my face into a pillow
Bracing for reentry into our world and its familiar greedy fears,
This morning.



Tuesday, January 25, 2022

Bailando Por la Sala

Dancing through the living room
Is a proud and graceful thing to do:

Playing with balance as limbs shift
fluidly in motion, muscles rippling,

Coaxed by some music or something inside
that casts an arm, extends a leg, haunches a hip.

Shapes the edge...Alters the reality...

Now this is where I think it'd really be cool
to see myself in an x-ray mirror as
Mr Skeleton Man--
Moving like a loose-limbed marionette
To some
faded velvet honkey-tonk tune--
Those clank-clank-clanking ashen-white bones.

But we're not there yet.
It's still muscles and ligaments for us.
Fuckin' ligaments!
Under the thinning skin.




Saturday, January 8, 2022

Making Meaning

Making Meaning


Making meaning of the smallest things:

The way—for example—one ant trudges

with its brethren, all of them in coordinated colony-wide parade,

in the returning-home-with-the-goods line, 

waving their cut leaves to acknowledge

Accomplishment and contribution,

as they pass their mates coming the other way

having already dropped their green loads to molder 

and turn into food in subterranean rooms 

connected through countless passages—

coming and going—an endless chain

of work in motion from high out on a single branch up in an arbol whose 

roots crack the pavement in the sidewalk and parking lot—

twenty meters along the edge of the connecting wall to the farmacia’s steps…


(How many round-trips from each ant per day, do you suppose?

Do they stay in their little work-matey cliques? Or could their neighbors-

in-labor be just anyone? The guy down the hall. Do they ever take a break? 

Or maybe there is no individual being there, in the way that we know it.)


…At the steps (right where a nursing human mother often sits selling green beans,

but not at this particular time) dual lines either emerge to the 

lively air or descend underground from the sun- and moon-lit slice of

our shared existence, marching resolutely down into their own weird 

dark world of corms and roots, rocks and worms, eggs of something or other

waiting to be hatched somewhere hidden below our everyday feet.


Or, another small thing: 

The way a dancing movement ripples through your body—

The shift of muscles and bones in fluid motion, coaxed by music or

something inside you that extends a leg and haunches a hip.

The ligaments—the fuckin’ ligaments! Et cetera. Et cetera.


Or:

Wednesday, December 15, 2021

Just before Christmas, 2021


Just Before Christmas

I was teetering on the edge--
The rootless feeling--
Falling into that shit.

Then she walked towards me
through the patio
from our bedroom casita,
Flowers flowing behind her, 
coming from her lips--little birds
with blessings, bringing joy 
And contentment to my heart.


Saturday, January 30, 2021

I Have It In My Heart

     Work in Progress

I have it in my heart
   for short guys
   who've made it big:

Martin Scorsese, Jon Stewart.
There are so many.
Although I kind of cringe when I think of Danny DeVito
--sorry.
Bruno Mars, though, especially.

And I'd actually add Tom Cruise to the short list 
   based only on the way he performed in Magnolia.

Of course, Robert Reich,
   but that's a different sort of thing.

El Chapo.



My first short hero from the movies was Alan Ladd.

Who reminds me of Ed Harris, who--
   as a bonus--also has
   that balding thing going for him.
   As do I--

Most would consider that
   I show fine from my face alone,
   But there are only so many times you can 
   read or hear in common culture the words 'small' and 'little'
   used to denigrating effect--and not be affected.
The examples are too many to name.

...I guess you could say the same thing-- 
   on the other side--about
   "Big Oaf" or "Big Dummy"

"That little--! You little punk!"

How often do you hear short, dark and handsome?

We're part of the understory 
Privy to the sunlight only on noblesse oblige...


On the plus side, I've still got all my teeth,
   Knees are good.  In pretty good shape all around.
   There's a lot to be thankful for. Flexible.

I came up with this crazy explanation 
   That explains why I'm here,
   encased in this particular body--
   Marked noticeably by its smallness.
   
Then pile on, at my age, especially:
   the shrinkage--
   That hardly seems fair...


[Part below needs work]


Anyway, the way that it goes is
   In a past life--
   That--admittedly--might be an issue for some--
   But anyway--

 In this circling play,
   Shakespeare's God made me a king, 
   Acclaimed by all women and men
But a king whose arrogance was his undoing. 
   
Back here, in our más or menos 
   consensual reality,
   my raison d'etre is


To learn humility
 
It's the humility that I lacked that I now here to practice--
   And it should be a dignified thing: Humility.

Anyway, enough of that.

Little. What's the difference between small and little?
   I hear "little" used as a pejorative--
   As in, "That little so-and-so".
Put "little" in front of any put-down word,
   and you've added ridicule to defamation.

But it's the "little" things in life that give it resonance. Meaning.



   

    




 







In the Time Remaining

In the Time Remaining

Let's inhabit again
that mood we were in-- 
When our skin moved the way it did, 
when the bed was our favorite place.

I don't understand your reticence.







Tuesday, January 12, 2021

Spy in the House of Love


Are you a spy in the House of Love,
Careful to erase evidence
   of your obsessive betrayals?
I am. 

Doing things I'm ashamed of--(why?)
There's no other term--
In the workshop, during quiet trips 
   to the bathroom, wherever. 
On the street,
Sitting at the table, 
In my mind...

Perhaps she is, too--
Both of us in the same household--
Behind our facades--
Unbeknownst to each other,
Awaiting mutual discovery.